Motherhood
Motherhood. I have an incredible passion for moms, likely because I am one. This picture is one of my favorites of three people I love in ways that all emotions seem to cover.
Motherhood. No other relationship, in my “forty-something” years of living has compared.
Where else in a matter of 2.8 seconds can one go from complete depletion, to indescribable joy, just by the mere sound of a four month old’s giggle?
Two weeks after celebrating my oldest daughter’s “Sweet Sixteen”, I can attest, this emotional roller coaster does not stop at infancy. If I am being honest, I really would not want it to. These three, they have certainly have changed my world in ways I could not ever have imagined.
The majority of us begin our motherhood journey with incredible hope.
From all the way back to childhood days of play, we plan big, and dream even larger.
We find ourselves wondering what life could be like with families and homes of our own.
Many make vows to do everything within their power to become more like the parent they wish they had, or subconsciously promise to carry on the beloved traits of the parent they felt thankful for belonging to.
At the same time, right from the start, feelings of self doubt often lingers, and the age old question of whether we are “doing this thing well” is always kind of “there”, at least it is for me anyway. I am not exaggerating when I say this uncertainty begins immediately after the pregnancy test brings the good news, and so far still comes up every now and again. Questions begin right from the get go, Am I eating correctly? Exercising enough? Too much?
Yes, there are certainly days when what feels like a God sized responsibility is much more than this human sized mom remembered ever bargaining for. But, thankfully, as the years go by, I am finding some comforting truths in which to grab ahold of.
The first one being: We are not expected to be perfect. The sigh of relief when on the good days that “I get this” can not be underestimated. Unfortunately, this reality is quickly followed by a “not so good” observation. And that is this: Whomever we happen to ask, without meaning harm, will obligingly present us with their own unique and varied view. Needless to say, the courtesy often occurs before a self proclaimed researcher as myself may even turn on the computer where plenty of other opinions lay waiting for the taking.
From the source of your infants milk supply all the way to whether your now young adult should live in your home, if one looks hard enough, there truly are a million perspectives, and the choices can almost seem paralyzing.
Advice, perspective, science, wisdom based on experience, they are all really good things. In fact, I offer and take in much of these luxuries on a daily basis.
However, more and more, I have found that as I take the time to discover the meaning of my own story, the path in front of me somehow becomes a bit more clear, and the choices less cumbersome. When this clicks, I find the vastness of which avenue to consider ironically become a bit smaller. I start to see meaning behind lessons and sometimes I even see a purpose towards what could become the next chapter of my very own story.
So, it only seems fitting that I apply this truth towards each of my children in my parenting. As things happen and experiences occur, fitting the unknown questions into the bigger story of their lives, encourage vitality towards whatever good may be unfolding out of it. An application of this may look something like: Feeling nervous about being the new kid? As a mom, I offer up the needed compassion, but later I may follow it up with suggesting how their own experience could benefit a new student the following year. I don’t claim to know the why of each experience we have, nor does this work each time. I am aware however that as a season unfolds, and questions of “why?” are unleashed, the answers once in awhile do appear in a later season, if and when we are open to seeing them.
Finally, there is something relieving in simply recognizing that as a mom, I am really here to play my part, letting what may happen, happen. Yes, I am called to provide wisdom, guidance and protection in the best ways I know possible. However, as I come to the conclusion that the final say, is not really mine to make anyway, this whole parenting thing somehow feels much lighter, and dare I say, on a good day, even between the car pools, meal planning and after-school activities, much more peaceful.
And as a working mom of two teens and a ten year old, incredibly thankful too.
