Solace in the suburbs

Seeking Solace in the Suburbs

 

Solace in the Suburbs

 

Escaping the hectic pace and what, at times, can feel like “the never ending to do lists” of life, I treasure opportunities to escape and just “be”.  It is no secret that I am always on the look out for a restful place where I can get lost in a book, enjoy a cup of coffee, or even journal if time allows.  Being alone in nature also is a favorite past time.  Learning that I was moving to Atlanta several years ago, the thought of finding “solace” seemed like it might be next to impossible in such a large and bustling center of global commerce.  Being one who does not like to claim defeat, I decided to set off and see what I could find in this uncharted metropolis.

Quite surprisingly, the more I dug, the more it became clear that big cities do not necessarily equal the theme of  “all noise, all of the time.”  From cozy neighborhood coffee shops to the full experience of an extended silent retreat, I found there existed a full menu of options.

Four years later, I am finding that I still enjoy spending time in my discovered places of quiet.  I look forward to sharing a few of them, but continue to realize there are many that I have yet to try out.

  • For starters, getting lost in a really good book in a place where I don’t know a single soul is admittedly one of my favorite guilty pleasures. Maybe it’s the lack of being distracted by the “urgent and immediate” that makes it so alluring. I am not sure if I could really narrow down the exact reason why I find it so enticing.  I do know, however, that I won’t have to look very far the next time I have a few free hours, as I will likely be venturing out to some of the places listed here, “Cozy Places to Read a Book“.  When this article came across my Facebook feed a few months ago, I knew it would be a perfect addition to this blog.
  • The combination of exercise and nature brings about a serious spirit of reflection for me as well, especially if I am in a quiet place. It is most often these places where I am able to hear what I need to with clarity.  Check out The Active Person’s Quest for Quiet if you can relate.
  • If you are in a season where an extended retreat is an option, or where it may need to be, I can attest that these, Spiritual and Silent Retreats, are not to be missed.  During a significant transition period in my own life, I took advantage of one. I still recount the experience being incredibly rich, both in spiritual and emotional replenishment.  A second option for a spiritual retreat is this.   I have not been personally, but it is most definitely on my list.
  • Finally, if nothing shared so far suits your personality, there is always the 15 top places for quiet in Atlanta, researched by Four Square. As with any widely published recommendations, some ideas make sense, but some don’t…for me anyway.

In some strange and round about fashion, that could just be the point. We all refresh differently.

My hope is that by checking out some of these included resources, you find encouragement to get out there in your own way, however that may be, to look for solace. Ultimately, if you return a bit more rested and focused, it will have been well worth it. If you are able to prioritize the things that matter, even better.  Should you return and find yourself able to be fully connected with the people who mean the most, you will truly know that you have found something special. When that happens, trust me…you will want to return again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

National Workaholic’s Day

 

Apparently, July 5th has been designated National Workaholic’s Day.  Who knew there was such a thing? In our day and age, the pace in which we live, so we can consume more, be more and do more,  can’t not come without some kind of repercussion.  I stumbled across this challenge from Marcus Brotherton as I was researching this topic.

“How about you? Can you press pause on whatever you can, wherever you can, and use these next few weeks to cultivate some more margin in your life? Can you purposely strive to recharge? Is that difficult for you? It is for me. Right now, it feels hectic—tension-filled, even—to even think about slowing down, to prune the branches of the trees that have grown too long and are now touching the house. And therein lies the EXACT paradox I want to address. I know that by doing less, I can actually do more. By doing fewer things, I can do them well. I just need to take a step forward and begin.”

 

He captures it well. It is summer. Perhaps today is the time to begin.

What do you think?

 

 

 

Summer

 

Regardless of whether you are knee-deep into summer or just getting your routine established, these are the days where some of the best memories are made. Every passing year I find myself more convicted to slow down and enjoy each minute, likely because my children are growing up much too fast.

As a working mom, forever searching for a good balance, I know all too well that wherever I commit my  “Yes”,  (even the really good “Yes”), it cannot help but result in a “No” to something (or someone) else.

The better “Yes”, or the best “Yes”.  During this season of life, this  question is one I ask myself on a daily basis.

It is the small things really.

This summer I decided to say “No” to working on Fridays.  Fridays are sacred as they are my “catch up” days for administrative tasks.  For some that may seem like a small deal, however, the relief of completing my paperwork  as I head into a weekend is admittedly comforting.  But, as always, that “yes”, takes away from something else.

These three little people in the water?

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They are not getting any younger.

And this Friday while watching “Finding Dorie”,  with a very cute 10 year old, I knew how easy it would have been to rationalize getting  all my work done for  a “clear head” over the 4th of July weekend.

But, I don’t regret one bit of it.  Sitting in a theater hearing my little guy’s belly laugh, followed up with some great conversation on the way home affirmed for me that this Friday, I had chosen the best “Yes.”

The little things, the important people. These are the “Yes” choices I want to make whenever possible.

The paperwork will get done.

 

 

 

Motherhood

Motherhood. I have an incredible passion for moms, likely because I am one. This picture is one of my favorites of three people I love in ways that all emotions seem to cover.

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Motherhood. No other relationship, in  my “forty-something” years of living has compared.

Where else in a matter of 2.8 seconds can one go from complete depletion, to  indescribable joy,  just by the mere sound of a four month old’s giggle?

Two weeks after celebrating my oldest daughter’s “Sweet Sixteen”, I can attest, this emotional roller coaster does not stop at infancy.   If  I am being honest, I really would not want it to. These three, they have certainly have changed my world in ways I could not ever have imagined.

The majority of us begin our motherhood journey with incredible hope.

From all the way back to childhood days of play, we plan big, and dream even larger.

We find ourselves wondering what life could be like with families and homes of our own.

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Many make vows to do everything within their power to become more like the parent they wish they had, or subconsciously promise to carry on the beloved traits of the parent they felt thankful for belonging to.

At the same time,  right from the start, feelings of self doubt often lingers,  and the age old question of whether we are “doing this thing well” is always kind of “there”, at least it is for me anyway. I am not exaggerating when I say this uncertainty begins immediately after the pregnancy test brings the good news, and so far still comes up every now and again. Questions begin right from the get go, Am I eating correctly? Exercising enough? Too much?

Yes, there are certainly days when what feels like a God sized responsibility  is much more than this human sized mom remembered ever bargaining for. But, thankfully, as the years go by, I am finding some comforting  truths in which to grab ahold of.

The first one being: We are not expected to be perfect. The sigh of relief when on the good days that “I get this” can not be underestimated.  Unfortunately, this reality is quickly followed by a “not so good” observation. And that is this: Whomever we happen to ask, without meaning harm, will obligingly present us with their own unique and varied view.  Needless to say, the courtesy often occurs before a self proclaimed researcher as myself may even turn on the computer where plenty of other opinions lay waiting for the taking.

From the source of your infants milk supply all the way to whether your now young adult should live in your home, if one looks hard enough,  there truly are a million  perspectives, and the choices can almost seem paralyzing.

Advice, perspective, science, wisdom based on experience, they are all really good things. In fact, I offer and take in much of these luxuries on a daily basis.

However,  more and more,  I have found that as I take the time to discover the meaning of my own story,   the path in front of me somehow becomes a bit more clear, and the choices less cumbersome.   When this clicks, I find the vastness of which avenue to consider ironically become a bit smaller. I start to see meaning behind  lessons and sometimes I even see a purpose towards what could become the next chapter of my very own story.

So, it only seems fitting that I apply this truth towards each of my children in my parenting. As things happen and experiences occur, fitting the unknown questions into the bigger story of their lives, encourage vitality towards whatever  good may be unfolding out of it.  An application of this may look something like: Feeling nervous about being the new kid?   As a mom, I offer up the needed  compassion, but later I may follow it up with suggesting how their own experience could benefit a new student the following year.  I don’t claim to know the why of each experience we have, nor does this work each time. I am aware however that as a season unfolds, and questions of “why?” are unleashed, the answers once in awhile do appear in a later season, if and when we are open to seeing them.

Finally, there is something relieving in simply recognizing that as a mom, I am really here to play my part, letting what may happen, happen. Yes, I am called to provide wisdom, guidance and protection in the best ways I know possible. However, as I come to the conclusion that the final say, is not really mine to make anyway, this whole parenting thing somehow feels much lighter, and dare I say, on a good day, even between the car pools, meal planning and after-school activities, much more peaceful.

And as a working mom of two teens and a ten year old,  incredibly thankful too.

THE NEW YOU (1)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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